you people disgust me.

so as you might've guessed from the last post, i have reason to believe that i might be a victim of googling. that's right, GOOGLING. so i checked my site analytics and discovered a bizarre set of clues as to what kind of person might be looking for me, and let me tell you what -- i am slightly uncomfortable right now. get your sleuth hats on, sherlocks: i present to you, Exhibit A: Google Search Terms That Led To My Blog:

• sad pizza
• hutterite in a blue chair
• pizza sad
• seth macfarlane in tight pants
• girl eating a bunny
• funny textes photos (typo?)
• mr. potato head face
• examples of people in a friendship (ok that one's nice, i'm glad you ended up here)
• amber hollingsworth cleaning (EXCUSE ME)
• person licking cheeto fingers (yeah alright)
• gwen latifah
• let's date

yeah we'll see about that last one, googler-of-questionable-interests...

Amber Lee Hollingsworth: A Google Result

Here's just some quick information about me in case you were to look up "Amber Lee Hollingsworth" or "Amber Hollingsworth" or "Amber Hollingsworth Portland" online for any reason:

• I am a professional person and I have some great work ethics/outfits.
• As you can tell, I am very familiar with putting things on the internet.
• Only about 2... 3 max of my blog posts have pictures of buttcheeks in them. In comparison, nearly 7 billion people worldwide have actual buttcheeks. You do the math (it's up to you what symbol to put between those two numbers to obtain the result of your preference).
• I know how to reverse-Google.
• Here's a picture of my cats:

Thanks for reading!
-Amber "Amber Lee Hollingworth" Hollingsworth

technically speaking

i am always up on the latest trends.

they say natural eyebrows are in!

it's pretty easy to publish a book these days

GUEST BLOGGER: LINZI (via me)

linzi is someone that i respect a lot because when she has an idea, where most people would say "hahaha what if i did this?" and then they just go back to their snood game or whatever, linzi ACTUALLY DOES IT. which is why i'm proud to present her latest masterpiece, "An Arugula Pizza Under A Pesto Pizza Under Four Single Cheese Pizzas Under 12 Mini Pizzas." follow the magic below:






and that's the difference between an artist and the rest of you slobs.

hey sweetcheeks

girl on the bus: "guys always say i have a cute butt but i don't really know what they mean by that."


i mean is it the shape? the size? i don't get it.

sex appeal:

i thought of 3 things today:

they say genius* comes in threes!

ok 1: next time your can opener breaks, you can remark to your friends, "more like a CAN'T opener!"

2: probably the funniest trick would be if they sold empty boxes of invisible tape.


and 3: this onesie:



(*death)

well, it's summertime

(ish). and i don't feel like blogging or tweeting or anything when it's nice out! see you guys again in the fall when i get seasonal affective disorder!

says a lot

my mom is my most prominent speed dial number (#5). everyone else is peripheral.

checking in

whenever i go somewhere cool i like to write it down in my notebook, and then show it to all my friends and see if they like it or want to comment on it.