Dec 26, 2009


jesus had a weird situation, because everybody celebrated christmas/his birthday, but i bet a lot of them pulled the old christmas-slash-birthday-present-in-one move.

Dec 17, 2009

first ever video post!

not very good!

i love you!

2009: my impressions

so there were SO MANY big new developments in the world in 2009 i feel like. i mean, just google "what happened in 2009" and see for yourself so i don't have to.

probably the biggest thing, for me, though, is the near eradication of tags in underwear. can i get an amen?!

i know about these things*

sometimes after admitting i know nearly nothing about a subject, i like to go ahead and talk about it at length just to see what i can come up with. for example, here's a fantasy football team ted & i developed based on what i know about fantasy football:

this morning i realized i know SHOCKINGLY little about the beatles. so let me tell you about the beatles. they were a band in the 60s (the 1960s) who may have been the first band to fly across the ocean because i know when they got off that plane it was kind of a big deal.

other than that, there were like 4 or 5 members, i'm not really sure, i think originally 5 but whenever someone died there'd be 4 for awhile until they found a replacement. so there was ringo starr, he played the drums, and john hamilton (sp?), and i don't remember the rest. john, he dated this girl named yoko ono and they just slept a lot, i think yoko had mono or something.

anyway i also heard that yoko was the reason the band broke up, because she REALLY liked pizza so everywhere the band toured she'd be like "ooh let's go get pizza!" and the rest of the guys kinda started to get tired of it, they'd be like "hey how about we try this chinese restaurant, i read a good review on yelp" (which was a newspaper at the time -- no internet, remember). but yoko would just say "nooooo i want piiiiiiizzaaaaaa!" and they would give in. she was pretty pushy i guess. well after like 3 years of eating pizza straight, these guys couldn't take it anymore and they quit the band. one of them -- i think it was bill -- even said "this pizza's going to be the death of me!" in a british accent and boy he couldn't have been more right! tragic, really.

so after the beatles broke up the ones who were still alive just went and did their own things: ringo is a painter, yoko works for PETA, etc. lots of people still listen to the beatles, even people who weren't alive in the 60s, which makes me think they must've been pretty special.

and that's what i know about the beatles.

Dec 15, 2009


this is a story about twins who had regular names like karen and katie or something. they were from the middle of this country where as long as you had the same initial initial, you could get by just fine as twins.

well one day katie and karen moved to a city on the edge of the country, where all the twins had meaningful names like hope and destiny, america and asia, rose and daisy. they no longer felt ok. they felt like they needed meaningful twin names too.

so karen and katie changed their names to ambition and smoothie. ambition and smoothie started an indie band and they played gigs at little venues in their neighborhood. smoothie liked shoes so she designed her own shoe line and sold them at little boutiques in their neighborhood. ambition did poetry readings at little coffee shops in their neighborhood. ambition and smoothie were pretty successful with their new, meaningful twin names.

one day ambition and smoothie went back to the middle of the country to visit their family for the holidays. everyone kept calling them katie and karen, which they didn't like but when they tried to correct people, people would just chuckle at them.

they went back to LA or NYC or whatever and all of a sudden they couldn't get any more gigs at the local venues. smoothie's shoes stopped selling and ambition just stopped writing poetry -- she didn't feel like it anymore. they just kind of sat around like normal people not feeling special at all.

the moral of this story is it's hard to be twins and why do parents get to pick our names anyway? i've never really felt like an amber, but it's kinda too late and i certainly don't feel like a smoothie. actually i take that back a smoothie sounds pretty good right now.

and this is what you get when i feel like i haven't blogged enough for you people lately. CRUD.

well here's a picture of ambition and smoothie and i don't care what you think:

Dec 14, 2009

i like turtles

i just wanted to make sure everyone saw this, from my former coworker/now e-friend, nate:

(created with my photos from the baltimore aquarium, where this funky little fella lives)

watch out, photo-of-a-bird-and-a-fish-together!

Dec 11, 2009

but i want you to know

that even if i die some regular way, like car crash or murder or being too close to a building that is being demolished, that i have had a GREAT life, like seriously one of the best i can imagine. like family and childhood and FRIENDS and adventures and college and adulty years... so many great moments stuffed in there, i kind of don't even bother thinking about the lame ones most of the time.

i am probably getting all sentimental BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND I AM NOW 28!! which makes everything totally different.

you can go ahead and wish me happy birthday but i want you to know the first person to officially wish me a happy birthday on my birthday was ted, at 12:30am as we walked back to his car off H St in DC, after eating some of the coolest sushi i've ever eaten, seeing a drag queen host a holiday-themed burlesque show, and beating ted so many times at jenga (he even lost reverse jenga, which he thinks is technically a win, but :-F).

i also wanted to talk about my (so far) favorite nonsense present, A PICTURE OF A BIRD AND A FISH TOGETHER from nic. it's for me and for dodger all in one. it's the best.

anyway, i'm just really excited about 28. i kinda hope i don't stand too close to any about-to-be-demolished buildings.

i just realized

how eerie that last post would've been if it were MY LAST POST.

because i died.

in a plane crash.

but i want you guys to know, if i DO die in a plane crash, that means i've gone the way i've always wanted to go, with my hands in the air yelling "WHEEEEEE!"

Dec 10, 2009

the future is SO RAD

and it's right here on this plane.

ok i know other people have done this already but until you experience it, you really don't know what you're missing. let me set the scene:

i am 30,000 feet in the air, watching Law & Order SVU, blogging, and gchatting. check it:

woop! there was some turbulence! bet you've never had turbulence at your desk! anyway if the plane starts falling i'll just type "AAAAAAAAHHH!!!" so you know what happened to me.

love you,

p.s. hope you can get here (the future) soon.

Dec 7, 2009


nic's post just reminded me of this photoshop adventure i took a few months back and forgot about. first i read this article on the Most Attractive Face as averaged out by like a billion humans.

SNOOOOZE! but whatever. but then i thought if you had to date this guy, but he had one facial feature completely missing, which version would you pick? i don't have to choose because i'm the blogger.

i bet you'd get used to it.