Jan 27, 2013

Next time on Downton Abbey

downton abbey spoiler alert
click for spoiler alert
On the next episode of Downton Abbey, Lady Mary has a baby -- it's half dragon. How did that happen? We may never know, she has amnesia. Lord Grantham dies. Meanwhile, downstairs, Thomas is caught with his hand inside a cooked chicken to "see how it feels." It gets stuck. Daisy chops his other hand off with a butcher knife (accident???). How will he be a valet with one chicken hand? Don't worry, he's still got two feet! Stay tuned for those hijinks. Matthew buys one of those new-fangled "television sets," but as he carries it upstairs it crushes him and he dies. Lady Grantham dies. Turns out Bates DID murder his ex-wife, her ghost returned and revealed it all to Edith, whom no one believes because bubbles emerge from her mouth whenever she tries to tell it, indicating she is in fact the incurable drunk they all suspected her to be, and she must be banished. The dragon-baby dies and a tea kettle is the next legal heir to the estate.


Nikki said...

Amber, I'm pretty sure you're the incurable drunk person in this situation.

Amber Hollingsworth said...


Scott Brumitt said...

Your blog post has filled me with discontent. The rational part of my mind knows full well that episodes of Downton Abbey probably just consist of various persons sniffling and exclaiming things like "My God, man! We were having tea!" all the time. And yet I now desperately want to watch the show you've just described.